Top ten ways to explain and deal with sexual abuse concerning your child/sibling.

 Hello again bloggers! I want to explain what this blog post is about. This post is top ten ways to talk to your child or siblings about sexual abuse and how to prepare them in case they are targeted as a victim. I chose this also to do research for my self . As I have mentioned in one of my previous post, I have three younger siblings and I wanted to learn how to talk about it if they were to ask me. That's the background about this particular post.

This image was found at The Upcoming on January 12, 2012. A young female 

trying to struggling against an attacker from raping her. 

This section is for parents, or guardian of a child. The following can be detailed into more depth at Child Psych Mom. This is going to list five ways to talk to talk to your child. I know you parents or guardians are probably thinking that you know how to handle your children and don't need a child telling you what to do, but if you don't need this information then very well. As for the parent or guardian becoming a parent or knows very little of what to say or do when your child becomes of age, please read the following for the respect of the children that never was taught  and that had to suffer., and for

the safety of your child. 
As Child Psych Mom says:

"Since 80% of child sexual abuse occurs in one-on-one situations, reducing those opportunities will greatly reduce a child’s risk of being victimized." 

1. Start at a young age. Start out by teaching your child/children about the parts of their body and what is known as their "private parts" and where they should never be touched. While doing this use language that is discreet and simple for the child to understand, depending on the age.
2. Help your child understand the meaning between good secrets and bad secrets. 
3. Try to reduce situations when your child is one-on-one with another adult. Instead encourage more group activities, or where there are more children and/or more adults present. 
4. Let your child know that if  anybody touches the inappropriately to tell you being the parent or guardian, or the very next trusted adult.
5. If your child does come up to you saying that somebody has touched their "private parts", tell them that you believe them and tell them that you are proud that they had enough courage and strength to come and tell you. 

Grant it I know that this isn't ten ways, but the information at Child Psych Mom  will go more into depth in explaining what was just listed. The next second part of this post is for those who have younger siblings and want to look out for them, and for more information for parents, or guardians.
The following indormation can be found explained more in depth at Psychology Today. 

1. Encourage your sibling(s), child/children to talk about their day.
2. Become educated on sexual abuse yourself.
3. Be aware of "red flags".
4. Know where and who your younger sibling(s), child/children are at all times.
5. Make sure there are more than one chaperon for group of youths.
6.    Teach them the danger that may come from someone they trust.
7.  Find therapy for victims.
8.  Understand the signs.
9.  Take action if you suspect any type of abuse occurring.
10.  Support research.

Thank you bloggers for reading! Leave a comment if there is a specific topic you would like me me to discuss on this blog. Once again, thank you for your support.

My anonymous interviews!

http://video-embed.nola.com/services/player/bcpid619329503001?bctid=601329606001&bckey=AQ~~,AAAAPmbRMTE~,BWCCSzT6s9ksP29K0TEsITNwjG28SO_r

Information about the video is available at:
http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2009/11/post_75.html

For this part of my blog it's interview time! I chose two people to interview. Each person wishes to be anonymous. My first interviewee is a single mom, and has a son that is four. My first and second interviewee has something in common. Both of them didn't let the abuse destroy them growing up. With that said the first interview starts:

• Have you met a child that willingly told you that they was being abused or were you victim of child abuse.

Yes. I, myself was a victim of child abuse.

• How old was you/ or the child when the abuse happened?

I was five years old.

• If it's not too personal, who was the abuser?

My step-grandfather.

• What did you do?

I tried to hide the abuse from showing.

• Was there a specific reason why the abuse happened?

I was a child, I see no reason why he would have a reason to have done it.

• What type of abuse was it?

Sad to say, it was sexual abuse.

• Did you tell an adult?

 Yes I told an adult what was going on.

• What are your thoughts about child molestation? Especially from a family member.

My thoughts.... My thoughts are that it makes me sick!

• What are your feelings toward child abuse cases that are shown on the news and every other public way to leak out information?

Well, like many people it makes me furious.

• Do you have any advice for a child or young adult that may read this interview, that went/is in the same situation that you were in?

Yes. Tell multiple people if needed. If one person you tell doesn't believe you, don't give up. Tell another person and another until somebody finally believes you.

After my first interview I went onto my second interview. My second person wishes just like the first. They wish to be anonymous. My second interviewee is a widow. She has four kids, and nine grand-children. My second interview starts with:

• Have you met a child that willingly told you that they was being abused or were you victim of child abuse.

Yes. I've been abused. I also met a child who was being abused

• How old was you/ or the child when the abuse happened?

I was six and the abuse lasted for ten long years. I do not know the age of the child.

• If it's not too personal, who was the abuser?

My daddy

• What did you do?

When I found out the the child was being abused I reported it to DSS (Department of Social Services), but on the other hand with me, I did nothing.

• Was there a specific reason why the abuse happened?

He would have to be alive, so you could ask him that question, because only he would know that answer.

• What type of abuse was it?

It was very detailed physical abuse, along with emotional and mental abuse.

• Did you tell an adult?

No, because I didn't want to get my daddy in trouble.

• What are your thoughts about child molestation? Especially from a family member.

Well, I was raped at the age of fifteen by a complete stranger. It makes me sick to my stomach. I want to stop it all!

• What are your feelings toward child abuse cases that are shown on the news and every other public way to leak out information?

If I see it, it makes me furious and I feel bad for the victim, because I know their pain.

• Do you have any advice for a child or young adult that may read this interview, that went/is in the same situation that you were in?

There are lots of people now a days to help. Never be afraid to ask somebody for help. Be thankful and lucky that there are people out there to help you. Also, never give up on your life because of another person's mistake and choice.

Both of my interviewees' are wonderful, strong, brave, courageous women. These women are my true hero, and idol! I was inspired sitting there listening to their story. Their story showed me that no matter what the situation, or catastrophe your in, there is no reason for giving up and that there is always hope. I wanna thank my interviewees' for their time and patience for going through this interview with me and opening up to all of you about their experience. Thank you!

What will people do to try to hide mistakes?

Hey.... Once again I was doing web surfing and stumbled across this news story.

This is the 9 year old girl that was killed by her stepfather:https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQBFX1l0wnRban_fGL5kgup1pFSR9UEwOE7CeEekqvxNYooyCJ2

L.A Now states:  

 A Long Beach man is facing capital murder and molestation charges as authorities allege that he stabbed to death his 9-year-old stepdaughter to cover up months of sexual abuse.Jacinto Zuniga Trujillo, 31, is alleged to have stabbed the girl -- identified in court papers as Xiomara J. -- because he feared she might reveal that he been sexually abusing her since November, prosecutors alleged.

As much as I read into the report in the news story, the 31 male was found not to far away from the girl's lifeless body, with inflicted stab wounds. Investigators believe that the man tried to commit suicide.

From was I learned and read, Trujillo was  accused of the special circumstance allegation that the victim "was killed because she was a witness to a crime," specifically child molestation. He was also charged with five counts of oral copulation and sexual penetration with a child under the age of 10 involving the victim. 

This definitely  caught my attention, because no child should have to suffer. It made me furious to learn that the man that did this to the poor little girl, tried to commit suicide after her murdered his step-child.

This little girl's life ended before it could begin. All because of an ignorant man.

No child should have to suffer like this child did. No child should have suffered five barely six months.

How To Recognize Signs Of Child Abuse

Recognizing child abuse neglect states that:

If you want to help an abused or neglected children, then you have to know what to look for.The following below shows the signs to look for, but don't look for just these signs, because there are plenty more signs. The presence of a single sign does not prove child abuse is occurring in a family, but looking deeper into the situation may be warranted when these signs appear repeatedly or in combination.

The Child:

• Shows sudden changes in behavior or school performance
• Has learning problems (or difficulty concentrating) that cannot be attributed to specific physical or psychological causes
• Is always watchful, as though preparing for something bad to happen
• Comes to school or other activities early, stays late, and does not want to go home

The Parent:

• Shows little concern for the child
• Sees the child as entirely bad, or worthless.
• Demands a level of physical or academic performance the child cannot achieve
• Looks primarily to the child for care, attention, and satisfaction of emotional needs

Signs that recognizes sexual abuse are when the child:

• Has difficulty walking or sitting
• Reports nightmares or bed wetting
• Demonstrates bizarre, sophisticated, or unusual sexual knowledge or behavior
• Becomes pregnant or contracts a venereal disease, particularly if under age 14
• Reports sexual abuse by a parent or another adult caregiver

Signs of physical abuse are when the child:

Has injuries such as burns, bruises, etc. and the child cannot explain where they got it.

Has marks after returns from being absent from school.

Shrinks at the approach of adults

Signs of neglect are when the child:

Is absent from school often.

Begs or steals food or money

Abuses alcohol or other drugs 

Signs of Emotional Maltreatment are when the child:

Shows a drastic change in emotions and reactions.

Has thoughts/attempted suicide

Reports a lack of attachment to the parent

These signs are not all the signs to look for... If you suspect a child is being a victim of abuse the following sources are a few ways to report:

• DSHS Children's Adminstration
• Child Welfare
• Dream Catchers for Abused Children
• And of course  911.
• Under our rainbow

A bruised child, possibly under the age of one. Available at:
http://www.underourrainbow.org/Content/113.htm

Its everywhere!

https://encrypted-tbn2.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS0jPvXMDUtzdrnytTLB1w0Y8xi-T4-MBiIPepQavQxRVNNNULt

As the topic for this week.... Abuse is ranged in different forms, ways, sizes,and amounts. It can also vary from different ages.

My main focus is child abuse; as you can see.

Later on I will briefly introduce similar issuse leading up to different ages.

I was surfing the web, to find something intriguing to bring up for a discussion, when I found myself looking at news reports.

The following was found in the Chicago Tribune; this article is on of the many that slightly disturbed me:

"An Iowa man accused of sexually abusing three of his nine children. He was captured in Chicago. The man was taken into custody Thursday morning at an apartment complex where authorities believed his mother lives. The man was thirty-six years old! Officials searched an apartment and learned the man fled out a back door. Officers found him hiding under a stairwell.The man faces eight counts of sexual abuse. His wife, who was arrested in Des Moines on Monday, faces three counts of neglect. The Associated Press is not using the couple's names to protect the privacy of the children."

So, knowing it's anywhere and everywhere, and could be happening right here and now, how does it make you feel? Sick, angry, dissapointed, disgusting? You not alone, thats why this blog is here.

 Anyway, to my point.... This shouldn't be surprising to anyone viewing, but yet it still takes us by surprise.

I ask myself questions all the time like, why children have to suffer, along with our young adults and our elders. Even the disabled.... The world is cruel, and life sometime sucks, and we think that theres nothing to do

WRONG! Theres plenty to do.... Abused childern, young adults, physically disabled, and our elders think that there is no way out of abuse.

That there is nowhere to turn but down. That there is no hope, no prayer, no nothing to get them through.... don't let another life end, another heart fail, another inoccent life vanish from our touch.

Everyone want to be a hero, right? Its almost everyones dream.... well it can be! Think back to the beginning of this post. Think about those three children and how they will have to live on in pain knowing that their Father abused them...

Think about if it were you in there position....

I don't know if the kids were treated correctly after they were found, or that they are safe now, or if they are even still being abused by whoever the are with now... I don't know these things for a fact... But what if were you, and what if there was no one there for you... I know I would be in a place where there is no light, no place for returning, a place where guilt is playing tricks on my mind, feeling ripped up and worthless for the rest of my life...

Think about little kids, from the ages five and up maybe younger feeling the same way you and I feel, except their the victims and we can only imagine.... The pain, the misery. Deep internal wounds that can never be healed. Broken hearts that will never be whole. Trust that is blown away in the wind.

Although everything won't be back to the way it was.... Everyone can try. Whether is a friend, family member, a neighbor, and friend of a friend... Show that person that you care.... Be that person's hero!

I don't want to say too much.... Until my next post.

Why Child Abused Begins

 Basically stating that abuse is abuse. Stop making excuses for it or about it.

https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSM4S6uDlomkutY7SBRHuzfMMNdZkCzrVEgkWSqipyCU9u8ynyiOw
 Hi again! Before I get to the actual point of this post there is something I forgot to add on my last post. I am going to try my hardest to get a new post on here every week. 


  Also every week I'm going to have something called,"A Ruined Life". Its going to be a segment about a child or young adult life that is/will be ruined from abuse. This segment will include a picture and a few sentences explaining. 


  Now with that said lets get down to business.


  As you all know, or should all know, there are multiple reasons child abuse or abuse in general starts.


  Abuse can start, because of anger issues, stress, going through a divorce, work problems, maybe the abuser was a victim of abuse, or maybe grew up around someone being abused. Everyone has their reasons.


   Its not right, I know, but people do it, and children have to suffer for whatever reason it may be.


   The abuser  WILL say sorry, but they never are, and anyone could be an abuser and not even know it. Abusing comes it all sorts of forms from mental, physical, emotional, a mixture.

Even in music, child abuse is a topic.  For example, Martina McBride states in her song, "Concrete Angel,"
"A statue stands in a shaded place
An angel girl with an upturned faceA name is written on a polished rock
A broken heart that the world forgot.”    

      

    Being a victim of abuse is tough to deal with, and for those who don't know what its like, don't say you do. Until you have been hit, raped, your emotions torn apart, or your mind messed around; you haven't experinced nothing.


    Now I'm not say I have or haven't been through this, and I'm not saying I know the feeling, but I've been told the stories, I've helped share some of their pain, but from other peoples words and wishes, don't say you know what it feels like or say that you have it bad.

    This shows all types cause that lead up to suicide, and abuse is one of them.


     Again more post soon! Comment if you have questions or something you want to share or add.

Welcome!

         Abused Child available at http://www.motherhoodthetruth.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/CHILD_ABUSE_by_COR_IESU.jpg, 2011/11/07

Hello and thank you for following. I'm a freshman in high school. I'm in the Early College Program. The idea for this blog is important to me, because I can learn about/from your opinions and comments. I have three younger sisters and I don't know what I would do IF this happened to them. 


This way you and I can learn different signs that signal abuse. This blog will help everyone to be able to speak out with their thoughts and comments about child abuse. It is also a place to speak up and be a voice for the kids who are too scared to talk. 


Another reason why I have chosen this topic is because the thought of children being abused is completely and utterly insufferable. It get very so aggravated when other kids who have never been physically, mentally, sexually, or emotionally abused a day in their life; make jokes about child abuse or laugh at it.

Did you know that more than five children die everyday from being abused? Approximately eighty percent of children that die from abuse are under the age of four. 


Think about if it was your sibling,  a child of yours, or even if it is just an innocent baby that cannot defend itself in the least. Think how bad it must be for them to live with that for the rest of their lives. Think of how they feel or how horrible their daily life may be. Can you imagine it? 


It is up to each of us to make a difference and STOP the violence against children of all ages.  


So please join me and others in the fight! 


I know that if we join forces we can make a difference in these children’s lives and make it a safer place for them to live.